Two Sonnets

       A Late Morning Sonnet

The ghosts in here have haunted me for days.
I hear those screams of anguish or delight.
I don't know tales beyond the murky haze
Of what could happen on one summer night.
To think of dreams, of nightmares, violent sex—
To speculate would be a loathsome thing—
A vision — painted hair and hickeyed necks;
A couple — man and woman — just a fling?
Just clumsy hands that feel their way around—
Tequila lingering on a pair of breaths?
Or is it real—true ecstasy is found—
Entrusting one another with their deaths?
   The ghosts in here are haunting me today
   But still I wake and wait to join the fray.


Sunrise Sonnet
for Veronica

I fell down your stairs on that fateful night;
Sounds of music still playing to my ears,
the sticky-sweet smells laughing at my flight—
There was nothing to protect me from tears.
As I quickly darted from your tower,
Concrete rose to greet me with sickly grace.
I stumbled down the streets at that hour
Unable to shake the sight of your face.
It is a vision of which I’ll not tire,
But inconsistancy still tortures me.
Whether to live with balance of fire
Or of such troubles be completely free.
  But what if the encounters dreamed were true?
  And what might happen if I were with you?

Song of the Unrequited E-mail

for Ariana

I try to be short, I try to be fun,
but nothing seems to impress you much, hon.
It's breaking my heart, it's cramping my brain
and I don't even know how I can explain.
"My life is so busy, my life's far away,"
is all that I think you would say anyway,
All that I want is to keep you in range;
in order to do that, we need an exchange.
I've tried being long, I try to be true,
I try to be witty, or angry, or blue.
I'm not making fun, not trying to taunt
But what the hell is it? What do you want?

2004

i was emo before emo existed

blue

pulled out of my seat, i’m forced to dance—
just play the game and fuck romance.
forget her eyes, tell her lies;
watch how her hair glows and flies
in the blacklight skies.
she spins my spirit on a wheel—
i hardly remember how to feel,
but fooling myself always helps.

all love is psychosomatic—
my heart skips to break the static.
drinking till the light is biting,
i’m automatically reciting,
simultaneous cigarettes igniting.
getting closer now, a pause;
forget the flaws!
inhale, crush, exhale, and enter.

“sure, light a candle, whatever”
(just let me forget her forever)
but i remember how it begins—
dark music playing, the room spins;
behind my eyes, i feel the acrid pins.
rushing out, skipping a stair,
tripping into the night air

i wanted to dance and dream in blue.
i wanted to find something new
but i still return to your familiar door
and wonder what for?
i just need someone to kiss—
for what passes for bliss is bliss.

1998-1999